J'Espere

Our tree is finally up. It was a debacle of sorts that started at Thanksgiving. On the way to Thanksgiving dinner we passed one of those lots that is essentially a strand of lights surround some fir trees. "We should get a Christmas tree." I commented. "We should get one geographically close to our house." was M's response. On the way home from Thanksgiving: "You know, Christmas is coming pretty soon. We should get a tree." "We should wait not get a tree from there." - M pointing at the same tree lot. In his defense it would have meant driving most of the way home with a tree across our car. Fast forward a week and there is still no tree in sight. "We should get one this weekend. We should all go out to the Farmer's Market as a family, maybe have breakfast...and pick out a tree." That was me living in my fantasy world. Saturday we had a wedding to go to, and SL was a hot mess most of the morning and it was freezing an...

We celebrated our first Thanksgiving. I’m going to give you the same spill I give my students during this time of the year. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Inevitably everyone wants to know why Christmas isn’t. It’s the gift thing. I love presents (if you are married to me and reading this I LOVE presents) but I really do love a holiday dedicated to the showing of gratitude, coming together of family, and dinner around a softly lit table with everyone sharing their thanks. That’s my fantasy world. In reality, it’s a very different thing. Reality was waking up Thanksgiving morning and realizing there was no way in hell we were getting anywhere close to my parents before noon. First feeding went well, but instead of organizing and packing the night before, I’m not sure what Matt and I did, but it probably involved watching Netflix way too late followed by me having to get up with sweet SL, followed by me begging Matt to hang out with her for just an extra 20 minutes while I show...

Mothers Beget Mothers It’s a biological fact that we are designed to oppose our parents. Don’t believe me? I challenge you to meet up with an eighth grade girl and ask her how much her parents know. It’s not about the love, it’s about the brain. And the brain says, “No! Don’t let them be right!” Until you have a baby. I spent my middle and high school years scoffing at 98% of what my mother told me about everything. Then I spent college just not telling her about anything. After college I no longer needed advice (fortunately I knew everything) and went to NYC. Then I spent the majority of my twenties listening to her and doing what I wanted to anyway. Then I had a baby. The realization that your sole purpose in life is to keep another human alive is a daunting task. But keeping another human alive and content is much, much harder. Ask anyone with a newborn at 3 a.m. how they are faring. If they were like me, they were probably curled up on the couch watching a small being in a s...