Why I Don't Believe in Dry Weddings (or at least some of them!)
Last weekend I went to a beautiful wedding. It was a six o'clock candlelit service followed by a reception at a local country club. The reception was scheduled to last until midnight and would include a sit-down dinner. What it would not include, I later found out, was alcohol.
In theory, I don't have a problem with dry weddings. Being from the South, I have been to plenty of afternoon cake and punch receptions that included just that. For many, it's a budget thing. Alcohol is expensive and usually prohibited in church fellowship halls. So I can understand wanting to save money and not serve alcohol.
And I find it perfectly appropriate to have up to about a 4 o'clock wedding without alcohol. Usually those receptions will have different beverages and finger foods and last for a couple of hours.
Where i draw the line is country club weddings. First of all, it's not about religion. If you're too religious to serve alcohol at your wedding- which I find ironic considering Jesus went to a dry wedding and Canaan, found out it was dry, and turned water into wine- but if you're trying to be a better person than Jesus, then why waste money on a Country Club reception? The whole point of moving the reception was so that people could serve alcohol. It seems a waste of money not to, especially if you've spent money on a DJ and a fancy sit down dinner. I'm pretty sure the venue we were at probably cost $20,000. And about five people danced out of about a 200 person reception.
Maybe you're thinking that I'm an alcoholic right about now, or that I won't dance sober, but I think it's bad manners not to serve alcohol with dinner. Do you need an open bar? No. If that's out of your budget, you can serve boxed wine with dinner, and maybe beer afterwards.
I also find it weird that people do a champagne toast without champagne. The only reason I can see for this is 1) the couple getting married are under 21 2) the bride is pregnant or 3) They are alcoholics. That is perfectly acceptable. In this case, I don't think the bride was pregnant, and we were definitely over 21. I'm pretty sure they weren't alcoholics.
My date and I left around 9/9:30. One of my friends was really upset about it, but I didn't understand how she could expect anyone but family and the few under agers there to stick around. Honestly a late night wedding without alcohol is extremely boring. And pointless if you're trying to keep a reception going for 5 hours.
So if you're thinking that you want a dry wedding (and obviously that's a personal choice) make it KNOWN that you want a dry wedding, and have it in the afternoon. Don't demand that people give up a whole Saturday evening watching a bad DJ try to coerce sober men onto the dance floor. And really, why not save the extra money? I did not understand the point of moving the reception at all. I think it would have been lovely to have it at the church- which would have meant guests knew going in it was dry- with the dinner and maybe a bouquet toss and then everyone heading out. I'm not saying that people should get to the point of being falling down drunk, but I find it reprehensible that someone would have a sit down dinner without alcohol. I went to another wedding like that earlier this year, but young guests were warned about it beforehand and told they could bring flasks. This wedding was so dry they didn't serve soft drinks or so much as juice. Water, sweet tea, and coffee were your options.
It was really disappointing overall, and I felt bad for my friend. I know there were plenty of other people there who were as shocked as I was. Hopefully you won't have to be one of these people. If you feel that you don't want alcohol at your wedding, don't choose a time and venue on a Saturday night that would suggest to your guests that you would serve it. And don't tell me that you couldn't afford alcohol if you rented out a country club and hired a band or DJ.
In theory, I don't have a problem with dry weddings. Being from the South, I have been to plenty of afternoon cake and punch receptions that included just that. For many, it's a budget thing. Alcohol is expensive and usually prohibited in church fellowship halls. So I can understand wanting to save money and not serve alcohol.
And I find it perfectly appropriate to have up to about a 4 o'clock wedding without alcohol. Usually those receptions will have different beverages and finger foods and last for a couple of hours.
Where i draw the line is country club weddings. First of all, it's not about religion. If you're too religious to serve alcohol at your wedding- which I find ironic considering Jesus went to a dry wedding and Canaan, found out it was dry, and turned water into wine- but if you're trying to be a better person than Jesus, then why waste money on a Country Club reception? The whole point of moving the reception was so that people could serve alcohol. It seems a waste of money not to, especially if you've spent money on a DJ and a fancy sit down dinner. I'm pretty sure the venue we were at probably cost $20,000. And about five people danced out of about a 200 person reception.
Maybe you're thinking that I'm an alcoholic right about now, or that I won't dance sober, but I think it's bad manners not to serve alcohol with dinner. Do you need an open bar? No. If that's out of your budget, you can serve boxed wine with dinner, and maybe beer afterwards.
I also find it weird that people do a champagne toast without champagne. The only reason I can see for this is 1) the couple getting married are under 21 2) the bride is pregnant or 3) They are alcoholics. That is perfectly acceptable. In this case, I don't think the bride was pregnant, and we were definitely over 21. I'm pretty sure they weren't alcoholics.
My date and I left around 9/9:30. One of my friends was really upset about it, but I didn't understand how she could expect anyone but family and the few under agers there to stick around. Honestly a late night wedding without alcohol is extremely boring. And pointless if you're trying to keep a reception going for 5 hours.
So if you're thinking that you want a dry wedding (and obviously that's a personal choice) make it KNOWN that you want a dry wedding, and have it in the afternoon. Don't demand that people give up a whole Saturday evening watching a bad DJ try to coerce sober men onto the dance floor. And really, why not save the extra money? I did not understand the point of moving the reception at all. I think it would have been lovely to have it at the church- which would have meant guests knew going in it was dry- with the dinner and maybe a bouquet toss and then everyone heading out. I'm not saying that people should get to the point of being falling down drunk, but I find it reprehensible that someone would have a sit down dinner without alcohol. I went to another wedding like that earlier this year, but young guests were warned about it beforehand and told they could bring flasks. This wedding was so dry they didn't serve soft drinks or so much as juice. Water, sweet tea, and coffee were your options.
It was really disappointing overall, and I felt bad for my friend. I know there were plenty of other people there who were as shocked as I was. Hopefully you won't have to be one of these people. If you feel that you don't want alcohol at your wedding, don't choose a time and venue on a Saturday night that would suggest to your guests that you would serve it. And don't tell me that you couldn't afford alcohol if you rented out a country club and hired a band or DJ.
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