J'Espere

Last weekend was insane. Friday night I drove to Raleigh, Saturday morning I flew to DC, Sunday morning I ran the Marine Corps Marathon, and Sunday evening I flew back to Raleigh, followed by Monday morning, when I got up at 4 a.m. to drive back. I'm sure most of you want to know why I keep putting myself in this position. I can't really say. There is something about running around a city or town or place that makes it that much more special. It's just different than driving through. I feel like I got to experience DC, got to see how the city was laid out, the crazy traffic patterns, and at the end I did get a medal from a Marine as well as a government issue snack bag (slightly iffy). What I noticed was this time around I ran slower but recovered faster. And I think that was because I was definitely undertrained. Besides starting a new job this year, I started work in an elementary school, which meant that by the end of September I had the H1N1 or swine flu or whatever it

is the reason I haven't been writing much lately. Or at all in almost a month?? Seriously? The good news is....I have a job! I'm a librarian! For real! It's exciting! I keep putting up exclamation points about it! What's interesting about a job like this, and I suspect most teaching jobs is that you come out of school with a particular ingrained philosophy. Essentially it's based on whatever is trendy at the moment and I have discovered I am no exception. So far I find myself not trying to fight the system, understanding that all an administration cares about is test scores, and encouraging kids to read outside the box anyway :-). The school I'm at does Accelerated Reader (of which I'm not the hugest fan) and is a PBS school and is a massive school! The first week I lost my assistant, which was not fun. 680 students, more than 30 teachers, and I'm it for the library. While we have some amazing volunteers, as you can imagine they are not the same as havin

Enough said. Really. I have spent the last few weeks sending out cover letters and resumes, setting up phone and in-person interviews. Sitting in front of panels listening as they explained what my job would be and asked me questions about everything from what I would do if a student removed all the balls from each mouse in the computer lab, if the county I worked in withdrew all funding, or how I would work a children's program for high risk kids. I have received offers and feel fortunate that a few places think I would be a good fit for their library. Finally, out of eight interviews, one interviewer asked me why I would be the best fit for their library, and why they should choose me. I wish it were obvious what was going on in my head. I am a good fit because I am young but not too young, I have fresh ideas, but I'm thrilled to be learning from those with more experience than me. I am a good fit because once I dug up a rare article on Colombian guerrillas written in Spanish

"My hair is curvy." - Z.H. That's what he said, and it cracked me up. Out of the mouths of babes, right? I think it might become my mantra. Today I watched as he tried to conquer the high dive. He climbed up the stairs (they have stairs for high dives now??) and stood on the board, staring down at the water, which must seem 100 miles away. He stood and stood until someone came through who wanted to definitely dive off the board. So the lifeguard kicked him out. I went over and asked him what happened, and he shrugged, said he felt a little scared, and immediately threw himself off the smaller spring board. I completely get it. What I liked about watching him this morning was his amazing ability to recover. When I arrived, he told me that he had gotten a blister that burst on his hand from monkey bars yesterday, and then this morning he had a swim lesson and playtime at the pool. But he seriously just threw himself back into his life. When he couldn't go off the high

My Life in Something Small Current mood: confident Category: Blogging So, since the last time I posted, I have: a. fallen in love b. written a master's paper c. started training for my second marathon d. seen the mountains in two seasons e. returned to yoga after a long absence f. graduated with a Master's degree g. become the most over educated Nanny I know of h. has more time to actually think about what i want to do than at any other period of my existence. I don't think I've ever been this excited about being unemployed in my entire life. Usually i run around like crazy looking for the next gig to get me through but this time I'm determined to take it slow and figure out what it is that I'm looking for. Back in the fall all I was doing was running, putting aside all my other training and trying to seek out something that can't be found by simply moving. In the spring I was so focused on my master's paper I almost destroyed several friendships and w

So y'all probably think I am insane. I ran 26.2 on hilly, rocky, roots everywhere terrain with named hills like "The Wheels Fall off" and "Devil's Spine". That was the 6th annual running of the Umstead Marathon. It's not a qualifier because it generally takes even elite runners more time to get through the hiking trails and up and down never-ending hills. And this was my first marathon. Prior to running a marathon I never considered myself a runner. An athlete, yes, but I only ran if it was after a ball (soccer and field hockey), someone was chasing me (soccer, field hockey, tag) or it started raining when I was on a walk. It just didn't really interest me that much. Then, when I got into triathlons I began running a very minimal amount. Everything was in 5k races, so I only had to go 3.1 miles. the first time I ran that far without stopping I definitely felt it. Now I think of that has a mere jog in the park. I started training for this in Novembe

Actually normally I don't blame things on Friday the 13th. I mean, what are you going to do,right? Weird things happen to me all the time and Friday the 13th only rolls around occasionally. But this morning was an exception. For starters, i was going to be early to work. That never happens. I think every employer I've ever had can attest that even with my enthusiasm for various jobs and clientele, I am rarely to never early. Most of the time being there on time is a stretch for me. But this morning was different. This morning I was up, fed Nigel and Lucy, and even had time to watch part of the Westminster Show I dvr'd earlier this week (that's right, I'm not ashamed. Those dogs are freakin' adorable.) I decided I'd made the right choice in not going to the gym and giving my body a break (ran 8 yesterday). I sipped my tea and made some more for a to-go mug. I sauntered (okay I walked fast) to my car, hopped in and was able to get right on 40 without a hitch.

Ideally I should be writing my master's paper right now. Actually scratch that. I should be writing my master's paper every waking second I"m not working on something more important. Like blogging or constantly updating my Facebook status. So here it is. Blogging. I'll be a dork and say I had an amazing weekend. I think that everything about it was perfect, from company to spending time in the mountains to playing Taboo slightly drunk. And I realized that I like how old I am, and I like where I am right now. But will not continue to like it if I don't finish this degree and move on to the next thing. Master's papers do something weird to your head. Like you start overanalyzing your life and begin home and self improvement projects like you would not believe. I am dealing with it by planning summer trips, vaguely job searching and playing with paint chips as well as using my drill (best money spent in '07!). Instead of working on sorting data and building

So I'm heading towards running my first 26.2 in just a few weeks. Which is frightening on so many levels I have a hard time describing it. So I'm sticking to what I know about. Which is that I'm hungry, I'm tired, and stretch a lot more than usual (if y'all can believe that). But I also, strangely, feel more euphoric than I ever have. I have finally discovered the runners high. For me, that apparently only happens when I have run at least 7 miles and sometimes takes until 9. Depressing. But doable. And I get to eat afterwards. And during on some runs. I'm way past the halfway point now, and it's too late to drop out of the race (though it's undetermined as of yet if I will drop in the race). I'm beginning to listen to my body more. I think the last time I legitimately did that was when I danced, and there were good reasons behind it. I listened when I felt tired, and went harder when I felt great. I ate really well, and slept a ton, and soaked my

since I talked about things that made me laugh. While walking, riding, driving, eavesdropping, you name it. So that's what I'm using today's blog for. 1) American Idol auditions- they started last week, and I can't stop laughing. Or simply sitting in stunned silence. Ever. Even though I think that sometimes I wish I were talented enough to audition. But do I know enough covers? I thought about what I sing currently: "Mexico" by Jump Little Children, "Love Song" by Sara Bareilles, "Seventeen Forever" by Metro Station, "Loser" by Beck, "Great Salt Lake", Band of Horses, "Everything is Okay" by the Everybodyfields, "High Voltage", Electric Six. I can imagine the response I would get to any of those. "Darling, you have a very..... sweet? temperament, but really, you sound like a hippopotamus drowing". 2) The "Failed Stripper" video on YouTube. If you haven't seen it, watch it. ri

Harriet Aronson Burton, August 14, 1916- January 12, 2009 She was one of the most important people in my life. I understand that not everyone is close to their grandparents, and not everyone even has a chance to get to know them, but I did and I was. She was one of my best friends. Thinking about her not being in my life anymore is so hard. I always felt that when we spoke she knew what I wasn't telling her, and understood why i was keeping it to myself. At the funeral, watching my family gather around to say goodbye to the glue of who we are, I couldn't believe that the small marble box was all that was left of her. I couldnt believe that I would never see her again, that I would not make a special trip towards her apartment before going to my parents house. And now I worry- did I tell her I loved her enough? Did she know that? She said we were a lot alike, and I am very much like an aunt who died when I was young, but did I really understand that? Do I now? I didn't see

Not me, y'all. Seriously. If it were me I think I would just hide out in my house the rest of the week and hope it didn't catch fire. No, these are different near death experiences. The first one happened last night, and the one after that I'll talk about happened more than 30 years ago. So last night I was at the stoplight of Franklin and Estes when the light turned green. I go, and immediately almost run into a car turning into Caribou coffee. Really, almost. As the person went before me, I saw in the glow of my headlights her leaning forward over her steering wheel, eyes bulging, a crazed look in her eye. And I thought (whether or not this is true), that this girl was willing to die for a cup of coffee. There is not a shred of doubt in my mind that she was, which was actually kind of weird. Because who would sacrifice themselves for a cup of coffee? Would I? Have I? It made me think about all the times I've been in a hurry and pulled out a little too closely in front

For real. I had this amazing New Year's, weekend, and last night I was on my way home from it. On 40- it's dark, kind of misty but everything seems to be moving along. I'm on the phone with Tim, and we're catching up and I notice this guy in front of me slowing down. And the car in front of him is going even slower. But I didn't think much of it, since I was only a couple of miles from my exit and thought I could put up with driving slowly. Then, things took a downhill turn. The car in front of the car in front of me weaved out of the lane, back in to the lane and came to a complete stop. Which means the car in front of me had to come to a complete stop. Which means that I had to. I looked in the rearview mirror and realized the car behind me was going to run into me and the car behind was going to run into and there were more cars and all I could think was how ridiculous it would be to be in a wreck on a Sunday evening less than 4 miles from my house. I had to sto

Is upon us, as quickly as 2008 came about. Yesterday I was looking through some old photos and thinking about how crazy it is that we are almost a decade into the new century. C thought that I should think about goals rather than resolutions, so I'm doing that instead. Narrowing down goals is kind of tough, especially because I have such a hard time really thinking about what is important in my life and how to incorporate it. I've also had to think about the changes that have occurred in the last couple of years and will occur in the next year. Like getting a real job that I like (gasp!) or finding my way back to things I left along the road. Being okay with the path I am choosing or have chosen or whatever. Yeah, I'm being philosophical. Suck it up. It's New Year's. Unless you think I'm being cryptic, because we know I hate being cryptic... So here they are, GOALS: ..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 1)

Losing Art Current mood: knighted Category: Art and Photography My favorite local photo place is closing. I felt a pang walking through the door yesterday, looking at all the empy shelves and counters and how sad the owner was. He apologized profusely to me about not being able to do darkroom work anymore and said he hoped I'd find a place to do it myself (which would be awesome) or at least find someone else with space. I'm worried. I feel like I'm even more dependent on digital now. I was playing around on an SLR site yesterday and toying with the idea of getting a digi-SLR, of being able to manipulate and print the photos straight from my computer instead of spending hours in a small room with a red light waiting and watching and waiting some more. But I can't imagine I'll ever love it the way I love hanging out in a darkroom. Every college I visited when I was in high school I went to their darkroom (my favorite was SCAD, by the way, of the ones I visited). I k

OKay, I'm completely updating. Sorry it's been so long- so I'll post my myspace posts on here starting now.... Holidays at Home Current mood: amused Category: Religion and Philosophy For the most part, I'm highly satisfied with the events that transpired over the holidays. I got to see Joe, Emily, Tim, Bonnie, Lee, Susannah, Bonnie G., my cousins, my nieces and nephew, my brothers and my grandmother (essential since she has been in and out of the hospital lately). I spent time walking the giant dog, watching every Christmas movie I could get my hands on, and being chased by animals while running. I also read a lot and played the piano every day and reveled in the smell of garlands and Christmas spirit. Here are some quotes to spread that holiday cheer along.... My favorite things this season: "Katherine's hitting every one! If I didn't know any better, I'd have to say she's played the Wii before..." "If I did find $20, it's not like