Those of us who love All the Things

I haven’t posted about this in a while, but felt it was a good time to update you on what is going on at my house. I am ditching my hoarding ways. Seriously. Motivation? A toddler and her things. Oh, how she loves her things. Since I’m not going to be the one who throws a toddler’s precious belongings away, it has given me the opportunity to really look at my own stuff. Truthfully, when we examine our lives, we find stuff coming from all corners. If you think I’m being metaphorical, drop by sometime.

            As I have started to truly look at the life I have led, there is a multitude of feelings to go with it. The first is awe that I got any sleep, ever, during high school. My high school stuff reminds me of Wes Anderson’s movie Rushmore .  Even I am impressed at the number of extra curricular activities participated in, events attended and things completed during school with no caffeine. 

            But when you look back on these events, you have to be careful to focus on what was truly important to you. Marie Kondo asks you only to keep those items which “spark joy” when you touch them. She literally wants you to touch all your things to see if you enjoy them enough to keep. So it’s the opposite of what we normally do. Instead of looking for things to get rid of, we look to decide what we should keep.

            This season for Lent, I made a commitment to God and myself to really focus on what was important in my life and truly start to let go of what was not, truly thinking of what adds to my life and family and what takes away from it.  And, truth be told even those of us who love ALL. THE. THINGS. can understand and appreciate that our lives are not about the things that surround us. What we love is what those things brought to the table- a necklace given to you by someone you love, a ticket stub from your first date.  What you carry is the memory that comes with them, and sorting through those memories is the hardest part of all.  My recommendation? Grab some Kleenex and go ahead and let yourself lament the fact that you saw Anaconda in the theater, and that you were apparently the only person to turn in poems for your high school lit mag. Consider how it relates to your life right now, how it connects you to the relationships that are important right now, and then, watch as the last of your report cards float into the recycling bin. 

            Stuff makes it difficult to achieve and grow in our relationships because we literally have things in the way. How many times have you thought about having someone over and then realized you wouldn’t be able to eat at your dining room table? Or considered going for a walk with your family but instead felt compelled to sort through…something.  Pictures that lean against your wall because you like them, but haven’t hung them yet.  The loss of a bill or letter in a pile of mail that you haven’t gone through in a week.  Or maybe three weeks.

            What I wrote above might not be your life. I have friends who are so on top of it I think I could show up at 8 p.m. on a Tuesday and they would whip up a gourmet meal to serve in their beautiful, already set dining rooms. Oh, and their kitchen would look like something out of Traditional Home.  But that isn’t the life I have ever led- not the part about you showing up on a Tuesday at 8- truly y’all are welcome anytime. Just the part about me whipping up a gourmet meal on the fly without me trashing the kitchen and most likely having to clear Duplos from an eating surface.  I’ll give you Trader Joe’s Unexpected Cheddar and some cabernet instead, and we can sit on the couch.

            But these examples are just some of the ways things have negatively affected my life.   And don’t get me wrong- there are lots of positives. Like being able to find something the first time you look for it. Being able to see your computer on your desk instead of having to dig for it. The hard part is letting go of the emotions that are attached to each. Understanding that the pile of cards my grandmother sent me for my birthday isn’t going to bring her back. Understanding that no one will ever know I received a frame for my high school graduation that I never used (until now). Yes, I said high school graduation. But for years the guilt over getting rid of these things- Grandma picked that out for me! That frame is really pretty I just haven’t found the right picture yet! – has stalled my ability to let them go.   Fortunately I’m learning each day about the joy that comes in growth, and the way new doors open with each item that leaves our home. Except for Siamese Dream. That stays. And so does every copy of On the Road I own (I think I have 4 different editions).  And that awesome geode I got when I was 11, “lost” for years, only to find in my parents garden last year.  Oh, and, of course, the nut forks.  It’s a process, y’all. A process.