J'Espere

                My friend died. Those are words I struggle to say. I haven’t lost a friend in a long time, and when I found out on Thursday night what happened, the words stuck in my throat. When I checked my email and saw there was one from a sorority sister I hadn’t heard from in a long time, titled, “Prayers for the Sanford family…” I wasn’t expecting to read that Courtney had died that morning. And at first, it just didn’t make sense. A FB post from her had popped up in my feed that day. “The happy song makes me HAPPY.” It was posted one minute before she crossed the I-85 Business median and collided head on with a truck. The wreck blocked half of the highway for 3 hours. I saw the wreckage. I went online and looked at the photographs even though they say you shouldn’t do that. And she wasn’t in any of them. So, see, no one was driving the car therefore she wasn’t dead. I raced downstairs to show my husband, and say, “Could someone have ...

Today a bill will hit the floor aimed at forcing transparency in companies when it comes to salaries. Currently, according to Working Mother  magazine, 68% of married women work outside the home and 75% of unmarried, separated or divorced women do. That's a lot of women working to bring home a paycheck and contribute to their family's security and well-being.  And it's been going on for a long time. I've mentioned this before but my grandmother worked outside the home as a nurse, even after she was married and had kids. My mom worked a good part of my childhood. And I am working. Before I start blasting the people who feel it's okay to pay someone less based solely on gender or race, I wanted to say why I'm working, and maybe why others are working too. There is the financial reasons of course, but since I'm in education I'm definitely not the breadwinner (cue irony). Then there is the idea of a career. I was raised to believe that I should have a care...

So in my fantasy world I'm a published author. If you've known me for a long time, you know that occasionally I work on different writing projects, but you also know that clearly I'm not published. Otherwise I would be screaming about it at the top of my lungs.  But while I'm waiting for my moment, the next best part in my fantasy world is getting to hobknob with other authors. Which brings me to the NC Literary Festival. First of all, you need to understand that North Carolina is a prolific writing state. We have the most amazing collection of authors and illustrators ever. Really. We have every kind of author from Eric Carle to Nicholas Sparks, Jill McCorkle, Allan Gurganus, Reynolds Price.... you need a genre? We have an author. Maybe it's because of the landscape and ability to move from the mountains to the beach in a day. Maybe it's because of the huge number of teeny tiny towns, or maybe it's in the water. Whatever it is, people in NC want to write....

                Good news, y’all. Our social calendar is finally filling up again. After months of wondering what we would do with the death of our social lives, we are finally being reintroduced to society. But if you’re thinking it involves margaritas and a late hour, you are mistaken. It now involves high chairs and sippy cups. We are finally being welcomed into the world of baby socialdom.  For you who think it’s a joking matter, think again.                 For a while I worried that SL would not get enough social interaction, since she is at home with a sitter during the day and not with me. I was concerned about the detrimental effect on her long term development and every time she kissed a photograph of a baby worried that she wouldn’t know what to do with the real thing. This is why we started going to Baby Story Time. Baby Story Time is, to put it lig...

    Becoming a parent has meant having to accept certain "situations". Like, one glass of wine with dinner instead of a margarita (apparently babies frown upon hard liquor, or maybe adults do). And when a friend asks you to a movie, you can only imagine a panicked babysitter texting you in the middle of Ryan Gosling removing clothing (don't judge- you know you watch too) to call you home. So you end up staying home a lot more. BUT, and there is a BUT, you become much more in tune with your home. You start really thinking about what it means to be in a home. Equaling a breakthrough.     When I was younger (Oh. My. God. this makes me so sad) my "home" was essentially a crash pad. Trust me, I added things to make it more "homey"- like my fish tank in Greensboro, or posters in Raleigh, or the Carolina gnome that has been mysteriously missing for the last few years. But overall it never really mattered what was happening there because there was so much els...

    Snow days in the South are perfection.Because they happen so rarely we treat them as the glorious gifts they are. Snow days mean pulling out rusty sleds, checking the supply of marshmallows, and cleaning the grocery stores out of milk and bread, though I have yet to figure out why.  What are people doing with all that milk and bread? Or is it that the milk truck doesn't deliver when there's impending snow? Questions that cannot be answered here, unless you know and want to share.     We got the first snow days in a few years here this week. Sunday it was in the 50s and sunny and bright. Monday it went up even higher and Sweet Pea and I took a long walk to prepare for what may or may not be several days inside. Tuesday was freezing and schools dismissed early or didn't open at all (though there was no snow, there was a gridlock situation in 2005 that left people stranded for hours or overnight at schools around the county. Ironically the same thing happened ...

Today, as I was rushing around getting ready this morning,  M. told me to look over at the baby, who was happily entertaining herself before her morning bottle. I did and saw her reading. A book. That’s right. The librarian’s baby was reading herself a book. Everyone thinks their baby is an advanced genius who might save the world or become the next great humanitarian, and I am one of them. I thought since I was in education I could be somewhat more objective but it turns out I can’t be. She’s brilliant. I watched in awe as she lifted the book to examine an illustration and then…tried to eat it. Mouth working over time wondering why that orange fish wasn’t fitting into her mouth.  A reminder that she is still just a little one. Mornings are the hardest part of our day, and the sweetest. Sweetest because SL is usually in a good mood, laughing and smiling and cooing up a storm.  Hardest because I’m running around like crazy pulling together everything so I can leave her ...