Because it's been far too long...

since I talked about things that made me laugh. While walking, riding, driving, eavesdropping, you name it. So that's what I'm using today's blog for.

1) American Idol auditions- they started last week, and I can't stop laughing. Or simply sitting in stunned silence. Ever. Even though I think that sometimes I wish I were talented enough to audition. But do I know enough covers? I thought about what I sing currently: "Mexico" by Jump Little Children, "Love Song" by Sara Bareilles, "Seventeen Forever" by Metro Station, "Loser" by Beck, "Great Salt Lake", Band of Horses, "Everything is Okay" by the Everybodyfields, "High Voltage", Electric Six. I can imagine the response I would get to any of those. "Darling, you have a very..... sweet? temperament, but really, you sound like a hippopotamus drowing".

2) The "Failed Stripper" video on YouTube. If you haven't seen it, watch it. right now. I don't even care if you finish reading this blog about nothing. I tried to post it here, but i'm not sure where it went. Fortunately, you can type in "fail" in Youtube and pull it right up.

3) Nigel and Lucy. As destructive as they can be, I love those little varmints. Like Nigel hiding my hair things in a secret place, and how much I scared them dancing around the house the other night. And their "tackle game" which I may have to video.

4) Whoever it was G105 interviewed this morning (Fri Jan 23) that freely admitted a) she had smoked crack only "twonce" (which I found an interesting vocabulary word) and b) she wasn't as bad as "Trey", who had 3 DUIs before he was 22, and once at a stoplight on Hillsborough Street got out of the car and passed out in the middle of the street, then got out of his ticket because his lawyer claimed he had been bitten by a spider? I was in tears. Seriously.

5) Grandma's high school texts. I had no idea she was so wild.

6) The guy at the Clemson-UNC game who imitated everything the dance team did.

7) The old lady in my neighborhood who only drives in the middle of the street. She wears a fur hat, drives an older Mercedes, and will move over when another car is coming, but then heads right back into the middle. I have now witnessed this 4 times.

8) Kendra's new stories from being a school librarian. "My name is Laquisha, but I prefer Danielle."

9) www.overheardinny.com

Suit, tapping singing girl on the shoulder: You sing wonderfully.
Girl: Thank you very much.
Suit:
Yeah, by "wonderfully" I mean it sounds like a cat getting ass raped by
a donkey. So I am sure that everyone else would appreciate you not
doing that anymore as it is only 6 am.
(passengers clap)

--Staten Island Ferry Terminal


10) "News of the Weird" in the Independent. Who names their kid Dalcappone Alpaccino and is then surprised when he is arrested for possession of cocaine??

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