What is a Jicama?

When I opened my 32 week email, I had no idea what a jicama was (pronounced hi-ca-ma) but apparently it’s a large root vegetable, used primarily in Central America, and weighing an impressive 3.75 pounds. What this means is I have close to 4 pounds of baby, and about 16” in there. First reaction: Yay! She’s growing and healthy! Second reaction: Oh, No! Isn’t she supposed to at least double this over the next 7-8 weeks? We are in the single digits, people, and reality is setting in. We went through childbirth education classes over the past two weeks and determined that they let you out of the hospital with next to nothing. But Sweden has a recovery center where you can go for up to 3 weeks after the child is born to do just that, and learn about taking care of your baby under the watchful guidance of nurses and consultants. They will also cook your meals and do laundry for you. What’s up, United States- why aren’t you on top of this? When I went to the doctor this week, the reality became even more real. He asked if I had any concerns or questions, I pulled out my manifesto on aches, pains and worries, and then he said, “Actually I was thinking more like travel plans, delivery questions.” “Travel plans?” “Yes- are you planning on traveling again before the baby comes?” “I’m out June 4th, and then I’m going to the beach for a few days. Just Wrightsville.” I’m racking my brain to make sure that’s correct information, and I’m not leaving anything out. It had not occurred to me that I should be thinking about travel plans. “Great! You know you should stop every couple of hours- you’re probably going to have to anyway- to prevent blood clots, take a stretch break.” It was the first time it occurred to me that I could go into labor out of town. “What happens if I go into labor?” “Oh, well, there are hospitals everywhere.” I was floored that this was supposed to comfort me. Of course there are hospitals everywhere, but I’ve already heard the story about a friends friend whose water broke as soon as she hit the strip in Myrtle Beach (yet another reason I try to avoid it). And the friend who knew someone who delivered a baby on a plane (a solid reason I haven’t flown ONCE in this pregnancy). All I could think is that I’m paying the doctors in this office to take care of me, and the idea that they would be too far away to do so at a given point was a lot to take into consideration. “What if it’s really early? Can I come back?” 40 from Wilmington to Raleigh is only a couple of hours. Of course, the 90 degree day I’m in labor I could see myself getting stuck in some weird town off the highway. “I’d play it by ear. Any blood, fluid loss, you need to stay put. But erratic contractions, maybe. I’m not that worried. You’ll be 35 weeks, so you’re probably in good shape. Just stay hydrated and off the beach during peak sun hours.” Now I have a plan that doesn’t involve blood clots, contractions, but only involves sitting in water. I’m heading down for a few days for my own last hurrah before this bundle of joy arrives. I’m so excited about being at the beach again- I really did love living in Wilmington and being able to get to the sand anytime I wanted to. One of the most disappointing parts of childbirth class was learning that babies can’t tolerate sunscreen until they’re about a year old. Our poor kid is going to be wrapped in more fabric than a mummy. “Any questions about delivery?” He’s jotting down notes on his chart, possibly like Patient is obsessed with getting to beach but seems to be in denial about impending end of pregnancy. “Um… I’ll come to the hospital, I have to have an IV access, that part I know. Oh, can I deliver any way I want to?” “Just to go over it again, yes you do need an IV access but we will not hook you up unless you want something or we deem it necessary to hydrate you. On to delivery- sure, closet, floor, bathroom, wherever is fine.” He’s still jotting down things- Patient might choose to deliver in odd location. Who knew birth was so casual? Of course I didn’t ask him the real questions that I am torn about wanting to know answers to, like, how much will it hurt? And Tell me about your average labor experience- was it fast or slow for a first time mom? Instead I just nodded my head, told him I couldn’t think of anything else, and then he suggested that since my time is occupied with tracking down books and finishing out the year it was fine to go 3 weeks instead of 2. I’m considering it an early birthday gift.